This was tough to read, but I love that you put it down in words.
First of all, that pancakes thing is an AWFUL thing to say about your kids!!!! I've never heard anyone do that! We do often say that our first is our guinea pig, but not in a way that means he's already screwed up, just that he's our first experiment. But in truth, all the kids are experiments. We truly never knowing what we're doing. The only thing I do right, is that when I parent terribly I laugh and say to the afflicted child, "Well, that will be something you can tell your therapist some day!" And then I try to do better.
I think parenting is always bittersweet. But I will admit-- when you're going through it with five kids, when the fifth one finally hits a milestone, you can usually have more of a "finally, that's done!" sigh of relief than you could possibly do with one (or probably even two) kids. So yeah, that stuff is going to hit harder. But still, as my oldest inches closer to leaving for college (he'll be a senior this year) I'm just starting to realize how much I'm going to miss my prickly, curmudgeonly firstborn and that can't be something that anyone ever gets used to, can it?
On a lighter note, there was a line in Nate Bargatze's most recent stand up routine where he talks about his daughter, also an only child. Standing up on the stage with all eyes on him, he says, "She gets more attention than I'm getting right now standing in this room with all of you." I died laughing.
I always love contrasting your experience to mine. I see some stark differences but also so many similarities. Like how my kids just feel like boarders and when they're gone, it actually feels kind of normal. Maybe that will change as they continue to grow? Who knows! Love to read your words as always!
Beautiful Jen. And just to share from someone who has more than one, I don’t feel like I know any better what I’m doing with #4. Each one is its one unique puzzle and we just do our best to help them along their way.
I was full of advice when I had my first, and truly humbled when I had my second.
This was tough to read, but I love that you put it down in words.
First of all, that pancakes thing is an AWFUL thing to say about your kids!!!! I've never heard anyone do that! We do often say that our first is our guinea pig, but not in a way that means he's already screwed up, just that he's our first experiment. But in truth, all the kids are experiments. We truly never knowing what we're doing. The only thing I do right, is that when I parent terribly I laugh and say to the afflicted child, "Well, that will be something you can tell your therapist some day!" And then I try to do better.
I think parenting is always bittersweet. But I will admit-- when you're going through it with five kids, when the fifth one finally hits a milestone, you can usually have more of a "finally, that's done!" sigh of relief than you could possibly do with one (or probably even two) kids. So yeah, that stuff is going to hit harder. But still, as my oldest inches closer to leaving for college (he'll be a senior this year) I'm just starting to realize how much I'm going to miss my prickly, curmudgeonly firstborn and that can't be something that anyone ever gets used to, can it?
On a lighter note, there was a line in Nate Bargatze's most recent stand up routine where he talks about his daughter, also an only child. Standing up on the stage with all eyes on him, he says, "She gets more attention than I'm getting right now standing in this room with all of you." I died laughing.
Jen, this hit me in the guts. Really beautiful.
I always love contrasting your experience to mine. I see some stark differences but also so many similarities. Like how my kids just feel like boarders and when they're gone, it actually feels kind of normal. Maybe that will change as they continue to grow? Who knows! Love to read your words as always!
Beautiful Jen. And just to share from someone who has more than one, I don’t feel like I know any better what I’m doing with #4. Each one is its one unique puzzle and we just do our best to help them along their way.
I was full of advice when I had my first, and truly humbled when I had my second.
He’s such a cutie. What a great “one and only.”
Best one yet! That was really well written. I didn't know you could leave comments until now