Beets & Brown Sugar

Does anybody else really enjoy buying the C&H brown sugar? Because it’s this flat, hard slab, like a thin brick. And I’m like, am I at the hardware store? What am I building? Wouldn’t I need more than one? When I handle one, i celebrate the smoothness and give it a little pat, regretting the day I actually use it and turn it into a regular boring old bag of granules… which I will now add to the running of possible titles for this letter to you.

I experienced this brown sugar satisfaction in the Target while on an epic day of lame errands. Target was followed by the pet store where I semi-bullied the cashier into accepting my coupon for “Hills Science Diet Large Cat Food.” You always have to read the fine print to be sure it’s not like, “good for 10+ cat beds” or “good until yesterday” or “good for gourmet turtle treats.” But I did. I read it all. And jackpot, it was for something I already buy.

The exchange went like this:

MACHINE: *Zonk*
CASHIER: Sorry, this coupon isn’t valid.
JEN: How so?
CASHIER: Let’s see… it says it’s for ‘large cat food.’
JEN, looking over at the large bag of Hills Science Diet cat food: What is ‘large cat food?’
CASHIER: Umm… well… uhh…………………….
JEN, staring: I’ve had problems with coupons here before. *waits*
CASHIER: Well.. let’s see.. I could probably override… yeah, here… *beep blip boop scan* There you go.
JEN: Thanks so much.

I’m still wondering about it. They have an aisle specifically for “large birds.” Could this coupon have been meant for large cats? For families with pet tigers or cheetahs or perhaps your lion tamer-neighbor down the street? (I wish) Anything is possible, though I don’t recall seeing a refrigerator section/meat locker at PetSmart.

Hang on, I have a PetSmart memory.

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When I was young, every time we passed this store, as a ritual, I’d say,

“Is it Pet… Smart? or Pets…Mart?”

And my mom laughed EVERY. TIME. Every time, she’d laugh at this! How annoying was I?! The stamina of true mother’s love she exhibited is a marvel. Laughing at your child’s same stupid joke (is it even a joke?) over and over again. Once is a kindness. But without fail? A true wonder. Thanks, Mom.

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After that I rewarded myself with an enormous cup of beet juice and forced myself to chug it down. It’s delicious but it was …so big. So much beet.

Speaking of beets, I have to share an old beet memory, a favorite exchange between me and Sean once upon a time—complete with title:

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“We Got the Beet”

One night, Sean was slicing up some beets. One of them slipped and fell to the floor. 

JEN: Did you drop a beet, Sean? (😀) Did you miss a beet?  (😀😀)

SEAN: I just can't keep a beet.

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After this I had to backtrack on the errand I always forget to do which is…

The dry cleaners. I just cannot retain something of this caliber of boring in my brain. This time, Sean even put the heap of clothes in the backseat of the car because I often leave home without it. On this trip, I forgot to make the stop on my strategic route of errands and had to go back and do all these left turns as my penance.

This is the cleaners my mom patronized when I was a squirt which is a weird flavour of nostalgia. Like, it’s weird enough to live as an adult in the same place you grew up. Extra layer if you visit the same cleaners (Let’s not even talk about still seeing your childhood dentist even though I already have and undoubtedly will again).

It’s a drive-up establishment so they come to my window like an old timey drive-in restaurant but instead of fries I get hangers and stuff that already belongs to me. The only interesting thing about it is the potentially funny exchange with the friendly clerk my inherent laziness is always taking advantage of. They ask if I’m dropping off or picking up and I’ll say to them,

”I’m here to pick up. Yeah, backseat is great. Yep, there’s a hook there. Thanks.”
Or,
“I’m here to drop off. Would you mind? It’s in the backseat.”

And I unlock the door and watch them sort through the pile I am even less acquainted with. Two shirts and two jackets? Sure, sounds right to me. *shrug* Then they ask me what starch I’d like and I give them an answer I give to a lot of questions in my life: “Medium?”

My final errand was the grocery store. I made my way into the first stop, the produce area, and guess what I saw just sitting there?

Let’s zoom in:

What!! T’is witchcraft! What freakish omen is this?? Either some kind of good fortune is headed my way or the universe is telling me I need to build something. Out of brown sugar bricks or otherwise. Stay tuned.

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big fan of that divider line.